


Video Chat (Short) continued

by aitiabot



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Captive, F/F, First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, I forgot to write Lion in my apologies, Isolation, Jealousy, Pining, Trauma, fusion mention, some bad jokes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-05
Updated: 2017-11-15
Packaged: 2018-08-19 16:15:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8216360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aitiabot/pseuds/aitiabot
Summary: This is my take of the events immediately following the Video Chat with Peridot and Lapis short. I adore these two. Much Steven commentary included.





	1. 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot won't be able to forget the sight of Lapis directing a baseball bat at her. Connie will never lend Steven her tech again. (correction; Connie never has to again because Greg is rich now)

Peridot grumbled about the concept of being careful with other people's things as Steven left. When he'd realized he wouldn't be salvaging his own damaged hardware he returned home dejected. She jumped when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"I'm sorry Peridot, is your pad thing OK?"  
  
Lapis apologized clumsily, while still holding the baseball bat behind her tall figure with her other hand.

"Y-yeah..  it's OK."  
  
The shorter gem answered cautiously, taking a step back from her after they both noticed she had flinched away from her touch.

"I REALLY thought Steven was trapped. I didn't know there was that kind of technology on earth."  
  
She grinned apologetically, hoping she could smooth things over with Peridot easily. She had gotten used to the gem responding to her outbursts with concern and patience, but this felt different.  
  
"Peri-"

"I need to try to fix this right now!"  
  
Peridot blurted out before Lapis could continue, swiping a small bag of tools from her workbench and leaving the barn as fast as she could.

Lapis had reached out but hadn't known what to say, leaving her hand outstretched limply, the other dropping the bat that she'd still been poorly concealing behind herself to the ground.

Peridot hurried off in no direction in particular, making sure she avoided the roaming lawnmower-router as she wiped the tears that had welled up during their altercation away from under her visor roughly.  
  
She didn't really have to fix anything except replace the screen. She would try to smooth out the dents Lapis Lazuli's exceptionally strong fingers had made in the casing of her communication pad, but thankfully the device appeared to actually still work just fine.

She just needed to get away. She couldn't face Lapis after how scared she had really been of her. It had been so long since she'd feared the other gem's capabilities. But to go up against her so readily. Did the other girl already think she was that weak?

"Of course she does."  
  
Peridot confirmed to herself, smacking the dented tablet against her face in the process.  
  
"Of course she thinks I'm a weak inadequate clod of a gem."

Dejected, and with no destination in sight she soon sat down at the top of a slope looking down over grassy hills that lead to the beach.  
  
"She could shatter me in an instant if she wanted to."  
She continued stating what she thought were facts. She thought facts should resolve everything she felt somehow.  
  
Her statements only confused her further. After hearing her own words, which were evidently entirely factual, she didn't feel afraid of her anymore. All she could feel instead was dread over how Lapis really thought of her. They both knew how weak she was. Lapis probably still thought she was an insensitive manipulative jerk if she thought she would trap one of their friends in a piece of technology. 

She never ended up opening her tool bag the entire time she sat on that hill. She was consumed in an internal monologue of evaluating her self-worth as a gem if Lapis thought she could ever intentionally harm someone they both loved as much as Steven.

Several hours later, Lapis had worried herself sick pacing in circles. Nightfall approached and her barn mate had not returned yet. She always acted like she didn't care when Peridot would come and go, but this was different. Lapis had never felt so much guilt before. Things were always so complicated with that gem. She usually wanted people to leave. But Peridot, she couldn't help but worry where she'd gone.  
  
She'd tried convincing herself Peridot would come back any second now and everything would go back to normal. Except she didn't know when Peridot, if Peridot, would come back at all. She couldn't handle waiting anymore and flew out of the barn to search for the smaller gem. It wasn't long before she was able to see Peridot sitting atop one of the nearby hills. With a gust of her giant liquid wings she landed gracefully down the slope before the abjectly distraught gem.

The green girl stood up in shock and let out a surprised gasp from being confronted so suddenly. She hadn't finished preparing her discourse and could only back away nervously, although her ever-lasting awe at Lazuli's wings distracted her sufficiently from her ill-calculated evasive maneuver to trip over her own feet.

"Peridot. Please."  
  
Lapis pleaded as the girl tried to back away from her, seeing her fall in the process. She stopped in her tracks, rubbing her arm anxiously, wishing she could help her up but knew she still didn't want her anywhere near her. She could only look up at the gem who clumsily stood back up.  
  
"I'm sorry about earlier. I shouldn't have yelled at you like that and.. I didn't mean to hurt you or your thing I jus-"

"It's not a THING!"

Silence. The two gems stared at each other in surprise for a moment before Lapis hung her head heavily and Peridot hesitantly looked around to avoid eye-contact while correcting her.  
  
"It's a... communication pad."  
  
Peridot looked down at the untouched device and toolbag, and then back at the blue gem standing just a few feet down the slope from her. She realized Lapis looked genuinely sad. Sadder even than she remembered from the first few weeks they had spent living together. What had she done? Peridot began to fret over the importance of her elevated emotional turmoil when all it was doing was hurting the gem right in front of her.

Things had been going so well between them since they had agreed to share the barn. Sure sometimes Lapis snapped at her, or had bad days and kept her distances, but she had no experience in handling something like this. She had expected Lapis to try to avoid this type of confrontation in the first place as well.

"I'm sorry."  
  
Lapis tried again, her voice barely audible.  
  
"I shouldn't have lashed out at you like that. I should have listened to you from the begining."

Peridot didn't want to have this conversation right now. She hadn't come to a conclusion as to what to say, or do, about what had happened. She had considered going to Steven for help but Lazuli had showed up just as the sun had disappeared beneath the waves.

"I FREAKED when I saw Steven like that. I thought someone had forced him like they had forced me and that you had done it as a test, or had just found him like that."  
  
The blue gem spoke up, but soon lost the strength to even try looking the other in the eye. She kept her head hung and waited for a response for an agonizingly long time.

"Lapis, I do understand why you were vividly disturbed by the transmitted feed and, you didn't really break anything, and I'm fine, so I think.. There's just one thing I can't sort out."

"What thing?"  
  
Lapis looked back up at her expecting a hopeful look, but instead she saw a mix of emotions on the other girl's face she wished she had never been the cause of.

"The thing."  
  
Peridot stalled, fidgeting with her hands and darting her pained eyes from Lapis to the ground and back. They had talked about this before. Lapis wanted them to be as honest as possible with each other, no exceptions.  
  
"The thing. I wish you had, I mean, I don't know. Why did you think I wouldn't do something to help Steven if he had really been trapped?"

"...what?"

Peridot gestured nervously, never knowing how to handle this much tension. Especially when it involved Lapis possibly getting angry. She wanted to scream back at Lapis' incredulous response to her apparently inadequately formulated question. She managed to control herself although the strain in her voice was apparent.  
  
"You were angry. You yelled /Why aren't you doing something?/ before grabbing the bat and, swinging it up at me! You just didn't understand the value of the communication pad yet, I was shaken up, and the pad was fine, and.."  
  
Peridot trailed off trying to elaborate off-subject but Lapis stopped her.

"I didn't! I'm sorry Peridot. I didn't understand anything. I wasn't thinking. I was just so frightened, and I'm so sorry I scared you in the process. I never wanted to hurt you, I just wanted you to drop the.. communication pad, so that I could break it open and extract Steven from his prison. But there was no prison."

Peridot sat back down silently, all the tension and anxiety left her staring at the ground, she couldn't meet Lapis' eyes anymore knowing she didn't have the strength to communicate her unease any further.

"H-hey now."  
  
Lapis walked the few steps up the slope that separated them and tried to lift the shorter girl's visor up gently to brush her tears away.  
  
"C'mon Peridot.. let's go back to the barn?"

"No."  
  
Peridot replied dryly after taking a step back to avoid her touch, letting the tears run down her face begrudgingly, trying to stare even more intently at the ground.

"Why not? We can just forget about this misunderstanding, can't we?"  
  
Lapis offered, hoping one last forced smile might help alleviate the situation but the green girl wasn't even looking at her.

"You don't trust me."  
  
Peridot replied dryly again.

"I.."  
  
Lapis was at a loss. She hadn't been able to trust anyone again until she had met Steven. Maybe Peridot was right, maybe she didn't even trust her completely, despite all the time they had spent together. She found it so difficult to sort out how she felt, every day was a struggle not to shut herself away. She hadn't even thought seriously about Peridot, she took every day as they came. Their time together so far had been surprisingly pleasant, but she knew she had just let the girl down in the worst way.

"You're an elite gem. You never would of had a reason to before. But I thought we, I thought that maybe I had proven my worth to you, but all that time, those months spent together, and you still don't trust me at all. You could shatter me at the next turn of events!!"  
  
Peridot sounded more and more erratic as she finally opened up about her fears, trembling and expecting Lapis to validate her statements in turn. Instead, she felt long blue arms wrap around her and pull her up suddenly against the tall girl's chest who had started crying, sobbing out several /I'm sorry/'s in to the blond's hair.

Peridot froze, feeling warm tears trail down her shoulder and back. Somehow being trapped in those strong arms erased the fear she had anxiously attempted deconstructing all evening.

"Lapis, don't cry."  
  
She said as softly as she could, finally raising her arms up to return the hug. She held her back, letting her cry for a while longer, as long as she needed, stroking her bare back gently, shyly avoiding her gem.

They had never been this close before. She nuzzled in to the taller girl's neck as her sobs slowly subsided. The feeling of her gem pressed up against her form felt serene despite the dread and chaos she'd been consumed with only moments before.

Lapis laughed sadly to herself as her sobs finally stopped, pulling away awkwardly from her.  
  
"I'm so messed up."  
  
She said to herself while trying to wipe the tears from her eyes, but Peridot had already carefully raised her hand up first to catch the last of them. The green gem brushed her tears away gently and permitted herself to return her hand to caress her cheek afterwards.

"You're not messed up. You're not corrupt."   
  
Peridot tried to negated, as if the fact was plain as day, when Lapis placed her own hand on her's to pull it away from her flushed face.

"I used to be cracked. I'm still all messed up beneath the surface. I tried to hurt you. I made you feel untrusted and scared. I keep messing up, misjudging everything, and you always kept saying it was OK. It isn't anymore, is it? How could it be OK? After I accused you like that? Of course you care about Steven. Of course I knew that. I was just so afraid for him I couldn't calm down."  
  
Lapis pulled Peridot closer again, lifting her up in to her arms.

"Lapis.."  
  
Peridot managed to begin her response before being pulled back in to another tight hug. She wrapped her arms around her shoulders, eager to respond. Her hands then slid across the deep blue gem on the girl's back in the process. The sensation had been so smooth she couldn't help but trail a few fingers back across the surface, almost moaning in satisfaction that she had actually touched her beautifully restored gem.

She didn't understand how, since her arrival on this planet, she kept feeling forced to dredge through the oddest situations. But this, she thought, didn't feel odd at all. Lapis didn't seem to mind that she was tracing the form of her gem, feeling the taller girl's thin hands slide across her own form in return.

They held each other in silence for a long time, too anxious to say anything else, and too shy to look at each other, opting to maintain their embrace instead. Lapis was the first to speak up after what seemed like an eternity later. She leaned back slowly and tilted her head down to get Peridot's attention.  
  
"I do trust you Peridot. I've never felt like this about another gem before. I want to be able to show you how much I trust you. You mean so much to me. All of the kindness you've shown me, even when it isn't reciprocated, means more than anything. You show me how brilliant you are every day. I can't stand knowing there's a risk I'll hurt you like this again."

"Oh Lapis."  
  
Peridot's eyes had soon turned to literal fluttering stars as she stared in to the other gem's captivating gaze before continuing.  
  
"I- I had no idea you felt that way!"

The starstruck girl tried to hug her tighter again, elated by her confession, but the taller girl leaned in sooner than she could and pressed her lips against hers. She stared wide-eyed at Lapis' closed eyes, but she was too shocked by how astounding the gesture had made her feel. She simply closed her eyes in turn, accepting the kiss.

Lapis sighed softly through gentle kisses, from the silent approval she assumed she had received, she'd opted for offering many more. They had both only ever seen kissing on Camp Pining Hearts tapes, and evidently they had greatly underestimated how enjoyable it could be. Kissing served no functional purpose, but wow.

Lapis laid down with her in the grass and took one of the smaller girl's hands in her own, intertwining their fingers before leaning in closer to kiss her again. Peridot embarrassingly let out a meep in surprise from being set down and then from the pleasure of their forms meeting each other when they kissed once more. 

She nibbled at her lower lip before sliding her tongue in her mouth thanks to one of the green gem's subsequent moans. Reaching out she traced the length of her other arm to hold both her hands, pinning her down inadvertently. With her full weight on top of her, Lazuli continued kissing passionately. What had started off as gentle lips and surprised squeaks started to get far too heated for the smaller gem.

Blue lips moved down down her jawline, kissing her neck greedily. Lapis kissed her harder, sucking and biting at her soft neck as she moved lower. Peridot whimpered and gasped sharply from the bites, half out of pleasure, half out of pain. She wasn't sure what was happening anymore and struggled against the strong arms pinning her down.

"L-Lapis.."

Peridot tried to start through weakening gasps.

"Fuse with me!"

Lapis had responded almost immediately to the sound of her name. Her eyes were as wild as the clouds seemed to be pooling above them in the night sky. Peridot stared up at the dark sky and at Lapis' glassy eyes with far more fear than she had felt consume her earlier that afternoon.

The silence that met Lapis' demand echoed it back to her in her mind. Jasper's voice echoed it back to her in turn. She let go of her hands, releasing her from her hold as she sat up, still towering over the smaller gem's body. Even her apology had turned in to a mess. She screwed up again.   
  
She understood now. It wasn't that she didn't trust people. She was the one who couldn't be trusted. She didn't deserve Peridot's affection or admiration. She couldn't control herself at all. She moved away from her, stumbling, before her wings burst from her back, launching herself in to the dark sky without another word.

"Lapis WAIT!!"

Peridot called out trying to get back to her feet as well, but it was too late. After one last look from the gem, she'd vanished and all she could see were dark clouds moving far too fast. 


	2. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lapis returns to the existence she thinks she deserves. Peridot searches.
> 
> The cast (and readers) become increasingly concerned

Peridot attempted to make her way down the slope to the beach to reach Steven and The Crystal Gem's home. It was an attempt most would conclude a failure as she tripped over herself while trying to figure out which direction Lapis flew off in and promptly tumbled the rest of the way down the hill instead. She landed with a loud groan in the sand, got back up, and ran to the beach house.  
  
"STEVEN HELP!!"  
  
The panicked green gem burst in yelling, swinging the screen door open, and sending Steven in to a surprised stupor, immediately dropping the comic he had been pouring over to the ground.  
  
"Peridot!? What's wrong?!"  
  
She hurried to meet her in the entrance, but she wasn't explaining her sudden dramatic entrance when he reached her. As soon as she had screamed for help she had instantly realized that she didn't know which parts of what had just happened to disclose.  
  
"Lapis flew away."  
  
Steven could tell the distressed gem was genuinely concerned, yet he hoped that her worry was disproportionate to the matter at hand.  
  
"She doesn't -usually- go far. Why'd she fly off? Did something happen?"  
  
Peridot couldn't answer, she looked like she was about to cry and Steven gestured reassuringly.  
  
"Awwwww Peridot, calm down, sit down, and tell me what happened?"  
  
They both sat on the couch and Steven waited patiently for Peridot to decide where to start explaining. He watched as she swiped at the tears from underneath her visor. He hadn't seen Peridot this worried since they'd had to face the cluster together.  
  
"After you left. A little later on. Just earlier."  
  
"Peri, it's okay. You can tell me."  
  
Peridot looked down despite his reassurance, focusing on her hands instead. She missed her limb enhancers, maybe if she hadn't been so clumsy, or weak, and overwhelmed, she could of caught Lapis before she flew away.  
  
"Peridot."  
  
Steven added, his concerned eyes burrowing through the silence that he was evidently starting to lose his patience with.  
  
"I thought she still didn't trust me. After that whole fiasco with the communication pad and you, and the baseball bat, and the yelling, uh. It really hurt you know, thinking she didn't trust that I wouldn't hurt you, like nothing had changed between us. But then she cared enough to ask, and, she did trust me, she cares, she just..."  
  
"Of course she cares Peri!"  
  
"She ran away."  
  
"What for?"  
  
Steven asked, but his sincerity only made Peridot question where she went wrong. These sort of things happened to any gem eventually, right? She didn't understand what she could have done differently. Everything seemed to have happened so fast, but how could she of avoided all this.  
  
What if Lapis never came back? Maybe she could leave her that easily, but could she leave Steven too? Could it really be over just like this? It felt like things had just began after all that time. She finally felt that there was more than just a spark between them, and it was over just as soon as she'd discovered it.  
  
It was over? The small girl slowly slumped forward burying her face in to the couch and proceeded to sob loudly. To Steven's horror, he wasn't able to console her for several hours. It wasn't until the other gems finally returned home that Peridot jerked up from her miserable state when she heard the warp pad activate, staring up at the rest of the crystal gems who had suddenly appeared.  
  
"What's happened?"  
  
Pearl asked after audibly gasping at the sight of Steven cradling a very distressed Peridot under his arm.  
  
"Uh... Lapis Lazuli kind of.. ran off, well flew off..."  
  
Steven explained hesitantly, stalling intentionally, hoping Peridot would explain herself. She didn't, so he'd continued as Garnet and Amethyst followed Pearl in to the living room.  
  
"Lazuli's done this before so I don't think it's serious."   
  
"YEAH RIGHT! And last time the ocean damn well vanished so she could build that CRAZY tower!"  
  
Amethyst threw her arms out in dismay before rounding the coffee table to sit besides Peridot reaching out to try to comfort her too, wrapping an arm around her as well.  
  
"Why are you so worried Lil'dorito? The girl'll come back when she gets bored."  
  
"What if she doesn't?"  
  
Peridot finally spoke up again, her voice sounded jarring in the hoarse state her throat was from sobbing for so long.   
  
"Wait, why did she run away gain?"  
  
Pearl asked, having the distinct impression the conversation had missed a few steps.  
  
"She hates me."  
  
"What?"

Three of the four uncanny spectators questioned at once, clearly not believing the green gem for a second, but collectively exchanging glances as to what to do next before all staring up at Garnet, whom had not asked the same question they had.  
  
"She doesn't hate you Peridot. Why don't you just tell us what happened?"  
  
Garnet suggested. Peridot knew the perma-fusion knew, but she couldn't bring herself to say it out loud. The disheartened gem got up from between Steven and Amethyst and feigned even more despair to cover up being too anxious to tell them what had really happened.  
  
The green girl waded away across the living room covering herself with her arms to hide a deep blush creeping across her tear stained face before she settled on sharing less than the truth.  
  
"It. It doesn't matter why she left. All that matters is that I have to find her."  
  
"But-"  
  
Amethyst started and was instantly interrupted by Garnet.

"She's right."  
  
"She is?"  
  
Steven and Pearl asked in unison before looking up at Garnet, then back to Peridot who had lowered her hands enough to be staring right back at Garnet. Peridot looked a little worried most of the time when looking at the tall woman, but she seemed horrified by the confirmation she had just received. The green gem was horrified because she knew the next thing she would ask Garnet would be crucial.  
  
"Do you know where I can find her?"  
  
The four stared up at Garnet in hope of a lead.  
  
"Nope."  
  
"NOPE?"  
  
Peridot yelped back, striking her hands down angrily. Her face was flushed and her eyes were tired from crying.    
  
"No. She's either too far away, or in some place, physical or spiritual, that I simply cannot sense right now."  
  
Garnet explained calmly despite the tension, and for some reason Pearl and Steven looked like they were going to cry now too while looking at Peridot's reaction. Amethyst on the other hand, still had her arms crossed, frustrated over what Lapis was even up to. Garnet then stepped forward and knelt down to meet Peridot's distraught gaze before placing a heavy hand on her shoulder.  
  
"I believe in you. You can find her, Peridot."  
  
"I need to."  
  
Peridot confirmed, staring in to the woman's shining visor. She wondered if she could start to understand Garnet better now. But it was no use thinking about that at a time like this. She needed to tell Lapis everything was going to be fine.  
  
"Let's go!!"  
  
Steven shouted as he jumped up with determination and just as soon as his feet had touched the ground again he started dashing around the house, more than likely packing odd supplies.  
  
"Did you see in which direction she flew off in?"  
  
Pearl asked, wondering where she could have gone. She eyed the clock on the far wall to make sure it wasn't too late for Steven to be going out on a wild goose chase. 

"N-no..."  
  
Peridot felt useless, which is why she had ran here in the first place. But Steven had finished packing and slung his hot-dog duffel bag across his back, charging for the door.   
  
"Let's goooooo! Let's go check the water tower first!"  
  
Steven hopped in place at the door as the other gems followed his lead.  
  
"We should split up to cover more ground and meet back here in an hour. Sounds good?"  
  
Pearl offered and everyone in turn agreed, splitting up in different directions. Peridot watched everyone head off but she didn't know what to do, so she followed Steven instead.  
  
"Wait up!"  
  
"I thought we were meeting back up later?"

"I- I feel better looking with you."

"It's fine, we'll find her! Come on, I've seen her watch the sky from the tower a bunch when she needs to be alone. She's probably just up there."  
  
They hurried back up the hill together and past the barn, but they couldn't see the top of the tower because it was too dark out.  
  
"Lapis!!"  
  
Peridot yelled, but no response came. Steven yelled in turn while he fished out a flashlight from his bag.  
  
"Lapis!!!"  
  
He aimed the light at the tower and ran around, looking for the blue gem as best he could but she clearly wasn't up there. The clouds above them seemed to be gathering at a steady rate, the wind swirled in no particular direction and it felt too cold for this time of the year. Steven was starting to get an eerie feeling, but he couldn't let Peridot down.   
  
"Now where?"  
  
Peridot asked looking out in to the darkness around them, wondering why Steven had just stopped and was staring at the sky. She hardly knew anything about the weather on earth, but wondered if it would rain again soon by the looks of it.  
  
"Uh.. Let's check this way?"  
  
Steven offered, pointing across the cornfields. None of the gems had picked that direction and he wasn't exactly sure what was beyond there anyways.  
  
"Ok!"  
  
Peridot agreed catching a spare flashlight Steven tossed to her from his handy supplies, and with a flick of the on switch they started walking again with much more clarity.   
  
"Lapis!"  
  
Peridot and Steven shouted periodically. He noticed that the girl's voice was still raw from all the shouting and sobbing and he started worrying they might not find the blue gem as easily as he had thought. When she vanished as Malachite they hadn't been able to track them down at all for so long.   
  
"Lapis! Lapis Please!"  
  
Peridot's voice chocked in to a faint sob again. They had crossed the corn field and now walked through fields that were left to their own devices for years before She and Lapis had started working them together. Peridot could hardly hold back her tears again as they passed the various specimens she and Lapis had been cultivating. Steven reached out and took her hand in his, giving her a hopeful look.  
  
"We'll find her Peridot, she loves this land and your crops as much as you do. She wouldn't just up and leave like this."  
  
Peridot nodded, swallowing back the lump that had threatened to burn out her throat again. She squeezed Steven's hand tighter as they walked in to a wooded area, looking around in any direction they heard sounds.  
  
"Lapis Lazuli!!"  
  
"Lapis!"   
  
They kept shouting every so often, and especially when anything startled them, but to no avail. The woods thinned out and they saw the dark ocean ahead of them past the edge of the cliff. They realized that the path they chose could only continue back along the cliffside to Steven's home, or down along the opposite direction to Empire City.   
  
"I guess we can't walk ALL the way to Empire City from out here. We'd need a car or something."  
  
Steven pondered, aiming his flashlight all over the place as he gestured his indecision.   
  
"She could be anywhere, how are we supposed to track her down, her wings are too powerful."  
  
Peridot agonized, still aiming her flashlight cautiously back in to the woods at every stray sound.  
  
"She doesn't know many places on Earth yet, she can't have gone very far."  
  
Steven smiled at Peridot to try to make her feel better when he noticed that his flashlight illuminated more than just the girl's sunken eyes in the dark. He noticed some marks along her neck that he hadn't before.  
  
"What's that?"  
  
Steven asked with his flashlight pointing right at the gem's neck.  
  
"What's what?"  
  
Peridot let go of his hand and turned away to touch her tender skin. The slight sting from her own fingers tracing the spots where Lazuli's teeth had made contact had her wincing in embarrassment. Peridots where made resilient, but they healed slowly, and even something like this could damage her body temporarily.

"Are you hurt? What happened?"  
  
"It's nothing!"  
  
Peridot yelled back, instantly regretting her panicked tone. Just because Peridots have a high pain tolerance, did not mean they handled it well, or that their bodies didn't exhibit deformations for several hours longer than most gems did.  
  
"Did Lapis do this to you? Did you two fight?"  
  
Steven was shining the flashlight at himself now, wishing Peridot would see that he just wanted her to be honest with him. His eyes shone brightly from the artificial light he directed at his face.  
  
"I let her. It's fine. Please let's just keep looking for her Steven!"  
  
"But."  
  
"Steven!"  
  
"A-alright."  
  
Steven hesitated. He wanted to offer to use his healing powers on the small gem, but she looked too upset for him to bring up her injuries again.  
  
"We should start walking, by the time we get back the other's should have returned too. I'm sure one of them must have seen something."  
  
"Right."  
  
Peridot agreed, turning her back to the cliff and walking back in to the woods with Steven. She turned back to look out over the ocean and the clouds pooling above and hesitated.  
  
"Peri?"  
  
Steven aimed his flashlight at her again, wondering why she had suddenly stopped.  
  
Peridot stared out in to the darkness and watched as the stars were being covered up entirely. She couldn't shake the feeling that Lapis had flown out further than any of them would be able to reach.  
  
"I'm coming."  
  
Peridot shuddered before walking back with Steven. They took the long away around through town all the way back to the house but no one they asked had seen the blue girl. One by one the gems returned empty handed. They had no suggestions where else to keep looking immediately, but they promised they would keep at it the following day. Peridot thanked them for all their help but returned dejectedly to an empty barn.  

Meanwhile, somewhere in the darkness,  
  
Lazuli held her legs to her chest. She had been going over every day since she'd agreed to be roommates with the stranded gem that had dragged her back to earth in the first place. Back to earth. She had no idea what her chances of survival could have been, had she returned to Homeworld after having gone missing for so long, they could of assumed she was a traitor and just shattered her upon her arrival. Or imprisoned her and tortured her for information like she had been on Earth, what difference would it of been who was torturing her.  
  
Had Peridot not selfishly, arrogantly, and cruelly captured her with Jasper's aid and dragged her back here without considering what chances she could of had back on Homeworld had she escaped, then she never would have known what months of true happiness could of felt like.  
  
Before the war, back on Homeworld, she had lead a solitary life. She worked hard, lived alone, conversed rarely, and when she spoke it was always mostly about work. She spent all of her free time listening to music. She had never followed the news much, and deeply regretted it for years after having agreed to come to Earth without much insight in to current affairs.  
  
She wondered which was worse, being captured and abused by her own people, or never meeting Peridot. It was too painful to think of a life without her. She never would of known what it felt like to be seen so completely as a gem, and not just a thing with a designated purpose. What it felt like to have someone remember every little detail that you shared with them. The feeling of knowing someone always had your back and looked out for you. 

She wondered what her life would be like if she didn't know how much it hurt when you felt that kind of love, and then betrayed it with ruinous violence and lust for power. The gem hugged her legs closer looking out in to the darkness, laying on her side in the abyss, she hadn't moved since she had sank down from where she had dropped from the sky.

She destroyed anything people gave to her at the first flawed assumptions. Steven may have healed her gem, and she'd always feel indebted to him for that, but he would never be able to fix what an infinity of years of abject hatred did to her core.

She took out her hatred on anyone. She showed just how much that hatred consumed her when she'd decided to take Jasper down with her. In those few months she had struggled more than all the years she had been tortured for information combined, and she had done it to herself.   
  
Down bellow, shackled like she had been in the mirror to a realm she refused to exist within. Crushing darkness, the weight of the entire world on her shoulders, ceaseless anxiety and pain, and most of all, ceaseless hatred for everything that allowed her to suffer as she did.  
  
Somewhere in that hatred for each other as Malachite they had become devoid of reason, fueled by the power of rage instead. Their unmatched strength felt so good she hated herself for missing it, she had hated wanting it all for an instant before deciding to turn against Jasper.  
  
She hated that giving in to it had changed her. That she wanted to feel strong again so badly that she would ever force herself on to another gem again, someone that she cared so much for, someone as delicate as Peridot.  
  
She screamed until she couldn't anymore. Only she could hear her own stifled voice alone at the bottom of the sea.


	3. 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The bottom of the sea is Lazuli's new home. The bottom of the sea is where she is staying.
> 
> Peridot agonizes about not being able to reach her. It was almost time for the harvest, how could this be happening now?

By the time Peridot made her way across the sand back towards "home" she could hear the rain but she couldn't feel it. She couldn't help but look over her shoulder in nervous jerks to stare out at the ocean. The green gem was never out at night alone like this. She knew her way around now, that wasn't the problem, and she didn't really mind darkness. She just never had a reason to leave home alone much anymore.  
  
The sea was so loud, much louder than the wind itself. She had been staring off over the waves for a long time before she realized she had stopped walking. She was afraid of the waves that seemed to be growing by the minute. She sound of them rolling heavily across the cliffsides echoed across the beach.  
  
In the distance she could still hear rain but she was certain that it wasn't raining yet. Finally she could make out a divide in the cloud density that was approaching. Through the darkness it appeared that a wall of fog was rapidly advancing towards her. Peridot suddenly realized that she needed to get back to the barn as quickly as she could. 

The short gem swung the barn door open with what little force she could muster against the squall that had caught up to her. A massive wall of rain had rolled over the beach and literally collided with her as she ran back up the hill. The door slammed back against it's hinges hard due to the wind drastically increasing the door's momentum. She had fallen several times on the way back to the barn.

It wasn't to any of her surprise, the amount of rain that was falling corresponded to the cloud density and velocity that had formed. She had learned all she could learn about the physics on this planet. Logically it was enough to make the grass too slippery for her weak clod of a form. She had no idea expending so much moisture crying earlier could weaken her to this extent.

"Lapis!"

She called as she struggled to pull the large door shut against the wind. No response. She was too exhausted to even look around after securing the door, stumbling to the nearest stray water bottle and downing it. She brushed off excess mud and grass from her legs, trying to shake the rain off herself with little success, then sat down where she had found the bottle.

She only faintly recalled what being thirsty had felt like before that moment. Gems didn't need food or water like the organic life on earth did, but she knew that for some reason, under the worst circumstances, she'd probably craved it and hadn't know how or why. Except that now that she knew what thirst was, she was certain she'd felt it before.

She threw the empty bottle across the room in frustration. She concluded that their climate on Homeworld had been so well regulated that their forms had never felt the need for liquid intake. Their forms never varied, contained perfectly by the vacuum of space. All living things on earth require so much to survive, one of those things being water.

She wondered if Lapis Lazuli hated feeling desired by those attracted to her powers. If what felt like some sort of fundamental desire felt like nothing but being used to her? Especially since everything during the war. 

Peridot held back more tears, too stubborn thankfully to let such a numb urge overwhelm her again. She couldn't accept that her feelings were just some sort of irrelevant phenomenon. She wanted to believe that her feelings were the sum of the happiness they had created on Earth together.

She got up slowly and looked around the barn. It looked bleak without Lazuli. Without the tall gem's stoic gazes at her and all of their things. Without her roommate's sudden bursts of laughter when she read books, or when they talked. All of this wind and rain rattled the barn around her and she couldn't contain the anger and sorrow threatening to burst out of her form.  
  
How could Lapis abandon all of their crops!? How could she leave the place they had created together in a storm like this? Peridot was pacing, she had been left behind many times on past occasions. No one stuck around each other on Homeworld like they all seemed to do instinctively on Earth. Back home once a mission, task, or test was complete, everyone went their own ways.

Peridot had always silently moved on to the next task while re-reading reports and results from the previous one. On earth people returned to houses, often with others that they co-habited with, to barns, to cottages, to apartments, to condos, and shared their lives in those rituals.

The small green gem had tried to learn as much as she could about human life on Earth, especially since being given access to tubetube by Steven. Sure being able to read data compilations from across multiple star systems had been a joy to her solitary existence then, but things were so different here.

She had learned so much over the past months, sharing her most exceptional findings with Lapis who spent most of her time reading comics or gossip magazines, or re-watching Camp Pining Hearts when they weren't farming or creating meep-morps together.

She had never had so much freedom in her entire life. She'd been too obsessed with everything she was learning, and with helping Lapis feel comfortable in their home, to even realize everything they had built together in such a short time.

So much intentional time spent together. Peridot threw the stand that supported her various broken recording devices to the ground suddenly, sending the items clattering against the nearest wall.

"LAPIS LAZULI!! You are my inner-communication struggle! I never knew how to explain it to you!"

Shaking, Peridot stared at the scattered tech. She picked up the blue ribbon that had bounced across the floor when she destroyed her own meep-morp. Crushing the ribbon in her hand, she continued yelling.

"I used the blue ribbon that YOU so easily discarded as the.. as the center to my piece about feeling like crap! Reminding myself of how much it hurt when you disregarded my feelings because of what I'd done to you, not because of Jasper, but because of what I really did to you, to remind myself never to take your forgiveness for granted."

Peridot tried to control her outrage but couldn't. She dropped the ribbon and walked back out of the barn. She wished her form would steady itself, she really missed her ground connectors at times like these. She struggled with the door against the wind again before slamming it shut and heading out in to the storm.

The short girl looked up at the sky, she could barely see anything because the clouds had covered the stars and moon completely now. All she could feel was the rain coming down hard around her and the trees swaying in the wind.

She needed to keep looking for Lazuli but she didn't know where to go. She couldn't see shit, as the earth kids would say. She braced herself from the wind, walking in no particular direction as she struggled to think of where to go. She wished she could just know.

Garnet had patrolled the ocean along the coast for an hour and had seen no signs of her. Pearl had checked any of the warp destinations she thought were feasible that Lapis might have reached in the amount of time that had elapsed, but also came up empty handed. Amethyst had searched around town first before checking in the most run-down spots she could think of like the city dump and old hydro facility but ran out of ideas pretty fast and was the last to have reported back but still, with no clues either.

Peridot could only conclude that the girl had simply kept flying, but to where? Where would Lazuli go? To a forest like in Camp Pining Hearts? The girl wrapped her arms around herself, around her thin form in hopes of warmth from the progressively frigid rain and thought she was going crazy again. She wasn't even supposed to feel such meek variances in temperature after all.

After first being stranded on earth she had lost her entire sense of being for several days, or was it weeks, either way that time had felt like decades to her. Lapis was making her feel like she had lost everything again. She didn't want to start over. A warm glow illuminated her paralyzed body, hesitating for only a moment longer, realizing that the glow emitting from her gem allowed her to see again.

"I want to believe."

Peridot affirmed to herself. She hoped Garnet was right. But if the rare perma-fusion with star crossed future vision couldn't find Lapis, how could she have any reason to think that she, a tiny era2 weakling clod could? The small girl took off down the hill again, sliding most of the way, her limited illumination circumference capabilities allowing her not to run in to anything in the process.

Once she reached the ocean again she could hear just how loud the sound of the waves crashing and rolling violently against the beach had gotten. Washing up higher than she had ever seen the water level get along the coast. She felt like just a speck staring out in to an entirely new chaotic universe before her.

She looked back over her shoulders to make sure no one could see what she was about to attempt. She needed to try, but as she stared ahead and got just close enough to feel the freezing water wash up against her feet she felt horrified to the point that she couldn't understand what was motivating her anymore.

She braced herself by digging her feet as deep in to the sand as she could, entering the water despite the relentless waves. The glow of her gem reflected back at her the deeper she walked in, feeling her form start to shake against her will again. It wasn't from the frigidness she wasn't meant to feel, but from the anger she didn't know she had for the other girl.

The anger of being left behind. The anger at her own weak excuse of a body for not being able to reach her. She pushed forward but there were more and more rocks barring her path in the deepening water. She lost her footing several times, stumbling back from the force of the waves, struggling to advance.

"I want. to. BELIEVE!"

Peridot yelled out desperately as she finally ducked her head underwater, crouching to be able to spare her mass from the violent force of the walls of water crashing down above. She crawled against the moving the current that tried to push her back to shore.

Her visor and gem allowed her to see clearly underwater, although her range of vision was significantly limited. Not needing oxygen was one thing, but being submerged was another matter entirely. She hated the feeling of being forced to expel all the air from her form. 

She struggled on against the current and unsteady terrain, even though she had no real idea if Lazuli was even out there somewhere deep under the sea. She barely knew anything about the ocean. She couldn't even swim, she was too weak to hold her form up against the current, and so she envied Garnet's strength.  
  
Peridot kept pulling herself along the rocks heading onward. The deeper she crawled the more the current subsided. but she had no idea how much time had elapsed as she searched the ocean floor helplessly. The way forwards seemed to get darker and more desolate by the second.

"Lapis."

The green gem tried mouthing but her voice was too weak to be heard through the water. It was no use even trying to call out to her. Her proverbial heart sank suddenly when her hand reached out ahead of herself further and further as she crawled without touching solid ground.

The last of her hope was shattered when she realized she was at the edge of a cliff, looking down bellow into an endless canyon, having no idea what in the stars existed at those depths.

She couldn't just throw herself down in to the abyss with no way back out. Somehow she felt that this whole time she was getting nearer to Lapis. She felt something pulling her counter-current towards the darkness ahead.

The small girl backed up, her entire form ached from the pressure and glacial conditions. She had wanted to reach her so badly, but she couldn't keep going. It took what little strength she had left to force herself to retrace her way back to shore. Eventually the current was too strong for her and she got carried along with it.

The waves pulled her in all directions as she careened towards shore. The heavy waves crashing down around her sent her tumbling in one direction or the other, gasping in and out of the water until she reached shore. Her form collided at full force against the rocks in the shallows before being thrust haphazardly on to land.

The waves kept pushing her further up on to the beach before washing back down and threatening to pull her back in to the sea. She struggled to stand up again after the crash, trying to regain her senses as she stumbled in the sand. Her gem had long since stopped glowing.  
  
Deep bellow the sea,

Lapis Lazuli remained where she lay, out off the coast of Beach City. So far out that she had sank down to depths that Peridot couldn't physically reach. Down to depths in which she created a new universe for herself that even Garnet could not detect.

The dark blue gem had still been sensed though, by Peridot, and by Steven that night. One of which she had to shut out even more abruptly than in the past. Steven had tried to get through to her using his dream powers again, but she would not have her new home intruded on so easily.

She had shut him out without even looking up from where she lay, tightening the hold on the void she was creating around herself. It was only when she had sensed Peridot approaching that she'd hesitated. She had felt herself begin to calm down if only for the moments that she had detected the slowest progression towards her anchored anguish.

When that progression suddenly halted and instead faded, she had felt a renewed sense of despair fueled the numbness around her. She let the weight of the sea consume her again.

"Love, it dissipates."

Lapis muttered to herself. She knew she'd be forgotten again, just like she had been for all those millennia. She thought that such a singular feeling of passion could hardly last that long. But if pain and anger had consumed her for so long, would this sense of lust and loss do the same?

The tighter the blue gem held herself, steadying her own place at the bottom of the sea, the stronger the currents amalgamated around her. The stronger they flowed, the stronger the winds and rain became in turn, pooling in the skies high above her far beyond the surface.

At the eye of the storm everything was perfectly still. The blue girl felt so small under so much pressure. She had always felt small, despite her rarity and strength, the Diamonds made everyone feel small. Jasper had made her feel small. Pearl had made her feel small. She was ignored for all those years.

She just wanted to disappear, but instead she lay among rocks and marine wrecks. These depths were the only place she knew she could manage discarding herself. 


	4. 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lapis Lazuli had felt the slow crawl towards her, the overwhelmingly numb feeling of the energy from the will of those that searched for her. Feeling Peridot force her away against the current to reach her had disoriented the blue gem to the extent that she was nauseous from the hope that could allow her to refuse her own solitude. When the feeling dissipated she convinced herself that none of them would keep looking much longer for the abysmal depths in which she hid.
> 
> Trapped on land Peridot needed a solution. She needed TubeTube and building materials.

"PERI!!!!!!!"

She tilted her head lazily on the wet sand in the direction of Steven's voice, that gem-boy's high pitched yet comforting voice, yelling louder and louder as he approached. Far too loud suddenly as the fellow crystal gem began fretting over her shipwrecked form.

"PERIDOT ARE YOU OK OH MY CATS LOOK AT YOU! HERE LET ME HELP YOU SIT UP"

"Arrgg.. Steven, my sound receptors are not appreciating all this HELP you're offering."

Steven knelt down next to her, helping her to sit up despite her continued desire to lay in the sand. It had rained all night and it was still steadily pouring down by the time he had decided to head to the barn that morning to check on her and found her here instead.

The small gem went to rub her eyes and noticed her cracked visor. Half of it was missing so she just pulled off the broken thing and threw it away to disintegrate.

"What happened?"

Steven asked quietly this time, his eyes tearing up at the sorry sight of his friend. The other Crystal gems hurried towards them in the distance.

"I tried to find her."

Steven didn't understand what she meant and he looked out at the dark ocean. It was morning but the sun barely shone through the sky. The clouds above were just as overbearing as the night before and the rain was coming down even harder now. The sea churned and swelled crashing down against the beach.  
  
Even the integrity of the wood structure supporting his own home was questionable at this point because of the high winds. He couldn't believe Peridot would of really tried to go in against those waves. He looked at the sea and back to her battered state in disbelief.

"Peridot are you alright? Have you been out here all night?"

Pearl asked, kneeling down next to Steven to inspect the washed up gem herself, using her pearl to help illuminate the poor girl to make sure her gem wasn't damaged.

"What on earth is UP with Lapis anyways!? Thinking she can ruin our beach all over again!!"

Amethyst fumed, kicking a lump of wet sand in to the waves that kept threatening to wash up higher and higher.

Garnet shook her head at the sight of all the unease in her crew and shape-shifted a swimming mask over her face.

"I'll give the seabed another look. You lot take care of Peridot."

Peridot watched the tall gem turn away after giving her a reassuring nod. Using her sturdy gauntlets to break the waves Garnet entered them straight on, forcing her way through until she was deep enough to dive down bellow.

Peridot couldn't believe the fusion's strength. She was jealous of all her capabilities, but she then realized it was more than that. She was jealous of what they had. If she agreed to fuse, could she have something like that one day with Lapis? The green girl felt her sight blur over as the rain stung her eyes. She didn't understand how Lapis could of thought fusing with her was a good idea when she was so despicably weak.  
  
Steven didn't know what to do. Peridot wasn't answering their questions, and he still didn't understand why Lapis Lazuli had vanished. He had seen her, if only for a moment in his dream, and he felt torn apart by not being able to get through to her. He didn't understand why she had shut him out without letting him talk to her even once. He started crying and the three other gems turned their attention to him in surprise.

"P-dot just spit it out already. What is going on?"

Amethyst asked, pointing at Steven and then at the ocean, and then all over, still fuming.

"Steven, calm down, we'll fix this."

Pearl tried to get Steven to stop crying, patting his back and looking insistently at Peridot with a look telling her to cut the crap and tell them how to get Lapis to stop the dramatics.

"I need to find her."

Peridot finally spoke up, answering no one's questions. She seemed disoriented. They could see what was left of bruises all over the parts of her body that her suit didn't cover. The rain had long washed away any blood she had lost in the process.

"Did you really get the shit knocked out of you by those waves?"

Amethyst asked, bewildered at the sight of the green girl. She knew that even if she jumped in there, and got knocked around a bunch, her form would be hardly touched. She realized that Peridot's form might even be weaker than Pearl's was. She suddenly sympathized much more with the gem, wondering what had really happened between the two to leave her in this state.

"Amethyst!" Pearl snapped at the girl's insensitive question before trying something more direct. "Why would Lapis be doing all this, Peridot?"

"I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know!? She ran away from YOU didn't she?"

Amethyst gasped in shock at the sight of Peridot's pained reaction from her question. Immediately going to apologize but the green gem cut her off.

"I!... I didn't say anything!"

"Did she ask you for something?"

Pearl hypothesized out loud, glaring back over her shoulder at Amethyst who was now rubbing the back of her arm in shame. She always lashed out when she was stressed or angry, and she still wasn't used to the blue gem's egocentric bullshit. She hadn't meant to attack Peridot, she was just so mad at Lapis for Peridot getting hurt.

"What do you mean you didn't say anything?"

Amethyst asked, calming down, she walked closer to the three. By then Steven had stopped crying and kept trying to make sense of the situation. If Lapis hurt Peridot, because she wouldn't tell her something, what did Lazuli want to know that badly? Steven stared at the fading bruises and cuts covering the girl's pale green skin.

He couldn't tell the bruising from last night from the fresh injuries, but when Peridot noticed he had been staring at her neck again and she immediately felt self-conscious. She looked down at her own form and realized the painful state she was left in by the sea for the first time since waking up.

"I don't know. It doesn't matter."

Peridot answered heavily, her voice somber from exhaustion. She struggled to get up, she needed to get to work on the blueprint she had pieced together in her mind before blacking out on the beach. She didn't have time to explain to them why all of this was happening, she just needed it to end as soon as possible.

"I'd hardly say it doesn't matter."

Pearl sarcastically retorted, standing up and taking a step back as Steven helped Peridot stand.

"Seriously Peridot, if you don't tell me what the hell made Lapis decide to bring this storm on us all willy nilly because of another power-trip I'm gonna scream."

Amethyst threatened, struggling to keep her calm, especially when Pearl looked like she was going to lose hers too.

"Why did she hurt you Peridot? Why did she run away?"

Steven urged on, betraying the green gem's confidence and pressuring her further.

"She what?"

Pearl asked, shocked.

"Are you kidding me!?!"

Amethyst shouted, she was about to throw one royally pissed fit and march right in to the damn ocean herself to show Lapis what's what before Peridot brashly shoved Steven back in to the both of them. They both caught Steven and stared back at Peridot in surprise.

"That's ENOUGH! I. said. I said it doesn't matter! Now all of you just either help me build a submarine so I can find her or LEAVE!"

The gems had never truly felt threatened by the tiny eccentric gem before, but the sight of her bleak glare had ironed out the fact that she didn't want to talk about it very clearly in their minds from that point on.

Back at the barn, materials were gathered, sketches were finalized, and construction was swift. After having experienced the sheer force of the ocean herself, she had plotted a design for the perfect sub before exhaustion and pain had invited her to kindly black out until morning on the beach.

The four worked hardly without speaking except for explaining tasks while they all listened to Peridot's favorite country playlist on TubeTube. It was demoralizing and rendered the work arduous for the rest of them, but thanks to her determination the project advanced steadily. After all the materials had been gathered Peridot and Pearl were left to the schematics and assembly.

Steven and Amethyst had retreated to the second "floor" of the barn where the couch and tv edged out from the platform built from an old truck. Thankfully they had finished weather-proofing the barn after a few prior rain showers that summer and lots of encouragement from Steven telling them that winter really wasn't that great.  
  
The ceiling was domed off kind of like a solarium except the umbrella was still there inside the glass dome to shade the TV. The two gems tried relaxing on the level above, turning the tv on but not really watching what was on, the storm raging outside around them unsettled them as they sat awkwardly glancing at each other periodically.  
  
They listened to Pearl and Peridot talking about how to connect certain controls to which frame. Once in a while they would hear Pearl tentatively try to get Peridot to open up about Lapis, which would always end in Peridot brushing her off. Their work went on like this anxiously until certain comments became to salty for the green girl's tastes and she lost her patience with the tall gem.

"Listen, it's not my fault Lazuli has colossal strength! Even the wrong look from her would hurt more than any of this planet's elements thrown at me! It's not MY FAULT that she's powerful and that I'm so weak OK! I want her to stop this storm just as much as you do Pearl, but talking about what she did or didn't do to me isn't relevant to you helping me with this mission! She can't help what's happening around her right now.. She probably doesn't even know what things look like on the surface right now..."

Peridot trailed off holding an electric drill in one hand and a sealant tube in the other. She stared Pearl down who didn't know what to respond. She hadn't been trying to get under the green girl's skin, she was just worried about what Steven had said and if Peridot was really alright with trying to get Lapis back on her own like this.

"There's no way you won't be able to find her with that brilliant meep-morp Peri!"

Steven interjected, trying to cheer her on to break the tension from above, but Peridot just sighed.

"It's not a meep-morp Steven, it's an under-water vessel."

Peridot jumped in surprise, and dropped what she was holding as the barn door swung open. Rain and wind rushed in, sending everything in the room flying in all directions before Garnet could step in and close it securely behind her. The wind had picked up even more in the time they had taken to build the sub.

"Garnet you're back!"

Pearl exclaimed joyfully. She was always so relieved with the tall woman around in bleak situations like these. Steven and Amethyst shouted in praise of Garnet's return also before the woman simply placed her hands on her hips and shook her head.

"No sign of Lapis on the outskirts, I still couldn't pinpoint where the storm is building from, and it's still impossible for me to sense her."

Peridot pointed at her new machine, showcasing their collective work of effort with confidence.

"Don't worry, I've got this."

"That you do."

Garnet grinned back at Peridot, removing her sea goggles at the sight of the compact sub which was essentially a sphere with retractable propellers, and other custom devices on all sides.

Peridot hopped in to the machine and turned it on for the first time. They were pretty much done with everything, she had just been making sure they hadn't missed anything that needed to be tightened. The determined gem tested out different settings she had programmed to ensure they had connected everything properly. Pearl watched at the same time, satisfied with their work. They had come a long way since their giant fighting robot building days.

"If Garnet couldn't find her, then how're you gonna do it with that thing?"

Amethyst asked incredulously, leaning over the ledge of the platform with Steven in curiosity.

"Oh, worry not Amethyst. Compared to drilling to the cluster, at 360 GPa of pressure and temperatures of 7,800°, this simple search and recover mission won't be nearly as challenging. Just a little over 110 MPa is all."

The green gem kept boasting, sounding cockier at every word describing her design. She finished her testing and leaned back in the pod for a moment in satisfaction. It was just large enough for her to be able to bring Lazuli back with her. She continued boasting,

"This state of the art submersible pod can withstand a critical collapse depth of 15,000 ft, plenty of roaming capability even if I need to search the entire Atlantic canyon for her. An engine powerful enough to supply my search for days if necessary, and obviously it's equipped with an indispensable gaydar to b- b. Radar. An indispensable RADAR to be ABLE TO LOCATE LAZULI! NOW LAUNCH ME IN TO THE OCEAN! NOW! Please."

Peridot clattered away on the controls in shocked embarrassment at her poor choice of words while Amethyst lost her shit.

Garnet and Pearl just exchanged a look and chuckled along.

"A what?"

Steven asked loudly but Peridot had already sealed herself off in the pod and was gesturing wildly to the barn doors instead.

"Alright then, let's toss her in."

Garnet said as she lifted the remarkably light-weight pod nonchalantly and nodded at Pearl to open the door. Pearl struggled against the persistent wind to let the crew out of the barn, She and Steven then secured the door before they all headed back down to the beach.

When they got down to the shore they saw that the path to the beach house had been completely swallowed up by the waves. The entire city was bunkered down from the unannounced storm, and as usual they were the only ones stuck in the middle of it all.

Peridot made a thumbs up gesture to Garnet through the large glass window of her pod. The machine greatly resembled the pod she had built for the drill except with far more propellers and much simpler interfacing. She had used the tablet that Lapis almost crushed thinking it had trapped Steven as the main navigational sensor.

"GO GET HER PERI!"

Steven shouted loudly despite the rain hammering down on them. She had barely heard him, but she appreciated the encouragement either way. The others cheered on as Garnet simply launched the pod as far out as she could to avoid the largest waves that were crashing down against the shore.

Peridot glided through the sky in her sub as the Crystal gems scaled the cliff towards their house to try to stabilize the wobbly frame that the sea was threatening to snap apart.

"Bracing for impact."

Peridot muttered to herself as the pod hit the ocean surface and she slammed back against the seat she'd fastened herself to. Slowly sinking down far past the raging storm above. It would of only been past 3,300 ft that she would of lost all natural light under normal circumstances, but with a storm like that above it was already pitch black as she descended.

She turned on the high beams installed around the sphere and gazed out at her surroundings. Using the propellers to head back in to the same direction she had foolishly crawled the previous night. The pod slowly filtered seawater in to the sub with a mix of stabilizing gases she'd quantified herself to engineer a faster descent in to the abyss without damaging her form.

How could she of been so naive to think that it wouldn't take more than her own strength to get a gem like Lazuli back? Peridots were nothing without technology after all.

The green gem felt ashamed of the disdain she felt for her own weak form. When Garnet had said she believed in her, had she meant that she believed that she could of reached her as she was, or that she inevitably would of relied on a machine to do so?

What if Lapis just kept running away even if she did reach her? It's not like she could just net the blue girl like a fish.

She had no guarantee the gem would even accept to return with her, but no matter what she had to try to find her first.


	5. 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The descent was long, it was fascinating, but most of all, it was chilling to see all the life that resided in total darkness. Peridot was amazed at how different a world it was than on the surface. A world Lapis had accepted for herself.

Peridot stared out in to the sea, amazed at the sights that looked so different from when she had crawled through, now that they were properly illuminated. And after several thousand feet she wondered if she would see any whales. As per TubeTube these where the largest known living species on earth.  
  
The little gem wondered if somehow they were like their Diamonds, but that the humans and other life forms of earth just didn't know it because they never went down bellow. She had no idea what she would really encounter out in the abyss, the world-wide web had told her that at least 60% of it was left unexplored. 60%! That was A LOT OF UNKNOWN for the green girl.

She started to nervously fidget in the sinking pod. wondering if anything would swallow her whole and dissolve her in their acids. Then who would find HER? She chuckled uneasily for a few moments cracking her stiff knuckles.  
  
"Just a little cabin fever. Nothing to worry about."  
  
She attempted to reassure herself. She'd been trained for this type of pressure, she couldn't just crack like some inexperienced clod. Peridot pressed up against the glass looking out in to the darkness as best she could. At these depths there was barely anything left to see.  
  
Her radar was steadily detecting nothing as she maintained her decent deeper in to the canyon with no sign of her target. It was like staring out in to space. The sedimentary debris that sparkled in the light of her pod looked like infinitesimal stars, but she kept watch for anything that might swim her way.  
  
Peridot had been so worked up about the thought of whales or what else lurked bellow that she had forgotten about her real objective. What would she even say to Lazuli when she located her? She couldn't even speak through the pod to her, she would have to convince her to come back to the surface by gesturing at her?  
  
She didn't know how else to communicate with her at these depths, or if her form could withstand these depths without the pod's protections, but if Lazuli refused to return she'd find a way to make her board the sub. Wouldn't she? How had she not thought out this part of her plan? She had known everything that she needed to do to build her rescue sub, everything except how it would even be helpful once she reached Lapis?  
  
She felt like a real naive clod, how many attempts would she have to make to get Lapis to hear her out? When she had first tried to make up with the tall girl, every one of her attempts had been crushed, would it be the same again? Even though things were so different now?   
  
She just had to believe. She focused on searching for the blue gem and the source of the abnormal currents more intently, decidedly not turning around when she had already sank this far down.   
  
"I'm here Lapis."  
  
Peridot said to herself as soon as her gem-radar finally picked something up at the bottom of the canyon.  
  
Down bellow,  
  
Lapis Lazuli stirred from her anchored solitude. She hadn't sensed the approach of the pod, but her vision was exceptional under water and she could see changes in movement or light from miles away. The thin blue girl that was curled in on herself was too disoriented to tell what or who was approaching at first. 

She tried to conceal herself further initially, wishing she could sink in to the stone beneath her. The mix of emotions stirring awake inside of her again forced her to rise up against her will. She opened her eyes that shone like mirrors under water from the light approaching and could only stare back at it.  
  
Her dominant reaction to anything and everything had been anger for so long. She felt she needed to protect her isolation. The girl's gem gleamed in the darkness as she rose from the bedrock among the shipwrecks she had haphazardly sank down to.  
  
She had flown out over the ocean immediately after her rejected demand, fully expecting to fall from the sky as soon as she could feel her wings start to strain. Lazuli had no clue how far she had flown out, or exactly why she had suddenly felt fatigued from the surrounding sea, but this was where she had dropped, and this is where she would stay.  
  
Lapis immobilized herself just above the wrecks and waited for whoever dared to disturb her new home. She didn't understand why she was so exhausted. She hadn't moved for hours, yet she felt as though her very essence was being drained from her being.   
  
When Lazuli could finally make out the glowing orb in the distance, the shocking brightness of the light stung her eyes forcing her to cover her face with her arms to protect herself as it approached.  
  
"Recovery depth achieved. Target found. Lapis Lazuli."

Peridot affirmed to herself, mostly because of old habits, but also in a vain attempt to calm her nerves. The green girl was staring wide-eyed, as if time had stopped, down at the illuminated form of the blue gem shielding herself from the orb descending towards her.  
  
The shorter gem stood still, staring out at the sight of giant man-made ships scattered at the bottom of the ocean bellow Lazuli. Why would she ever come out to a place like this? This was a graveyard. Peridot agonized, before realizing the lights were distressing her friend, she turned them off and immobilized the pod just several feet away.   
  
Lapis Lazuli lowered her arms as the light subsided. Her anger vanished just as soon as she saw Peridot standing in the pod in front of her, staring back in to her sunken eyes. The artificial light made them look as infinite and cold as the ocean they reflected back at her.  
  
"Leave!"  
  
Lapis shouted desperately, except Peridot had barely heard a sound. Even with the density muffling her voice, the pod was too compressed at this depth for sound to travel through it's sphere. The dark blue gem swung her arms down in an attempt to seem angry. She couldn't allow such a disruption of her solitude from the exact person she was trying to run away from.  
  
Peridot knew exactly what Lazuli had just said to her. The look on her face, and the way her fists were starting to clench at her sides reminded her of exactly the words she feared Lapis would chose again. The green gem pressed her palms up against the glass and tried to plead with the angry gem.  
  
"Please come back Lapis. I need to talk to you. Please Lapis, let's go back together."  
  
Peridot mouthed these desperate pleas as clearly as she could in hopes that Lazuli would understand through the glass. She hoped the other girl would calm down and give her a chance this time. But she couldn't tell if Lapis was even looking at her. Her eyes were so dark, it was impossible to tell what she was focused on.  
  
The shorter gem saw that there was nothing more she could do. If she couldn't calm Lapis down without talking to her, she'd just run away again at this rate. Or worse, throw her pod out of the ocean at a speed sufficient enough to have her reach collapse velocity and she did not want to die just yet, especially without even trying to confess to Lazuli first.  
  
Before the blue gem could make another move Peridot had activated the pod to open. Lapis watched in horror as the gradual shift in pressure threatened to crush the girl before her.  
  
"Peridot!"  
  
Lapis reached out for the pod as the glass casing swung back on itself. Peridot struggled to reach out in response before collapsing to her knees. Evidently she had miscalculated the conversion rate of her own submersion accelerant and regular sea water at this depth. Her weakening limbs felt like they were being pulled apart to a central point far past the shipwrecks bellow.  
  
The shorter girl couldn't hear anything except a ringing so blinding that it made her feel like she was going to start having spasms from the sheer force around her. She kept reaching her hand out despite her deteriorating form, reaching out for Lapis' hand and was able to reach it. If only for a moment, before her entire form imploded on itself.  
  
Lapis Lazuli watched as the delicate fingers she had just felt intertwine with her own vanished in that same instant. The faintly glowing green gem floated down in front of her eyes and after snatching it up she immediately pulled herself in to the pod and looked down at the controls.  
  
On the small screen that she recognized as Peridot's communication pad, there was a singular button flashing "Resurface". Lapis tapped the command with her free hand, holding Peridot to her chest protectively with the other.  
  
She watched the pod seal itself back again, filtering the sea water it was filled with back to the right levels as it started it's ascent. Lapis was shocked, she stared down at the delicate green gem that she cradled in both her hands now. She hadn't wanted this. She hadn't wanted to harm Peridot again.  
  
She should of jumped out after pressing the button, but she was too afraid to let go of the girl's gem. She couldn't keep hurting Peridot like this. The poor girl had poofed and for what? So that she could try to convince her she wasn't innately cruel? That her violence could be pardoned?  
  
All she did was hurt people. She was trapped wherever she went. Trapped on Earth, trapped under the sea, trapped in this pod now. No matter what she chose she couldn't escape. She didn't know what would of happened to the green gem had she just swam back to the surface with her instead.   
  
She had to make a split second decision and she decided to trust that the girl's technology was the safest way back for her. Lazuli hadn't been able to look away from the soft gem in her hands, fighting back the fear that the poor girl wouldn't be able to reform, she was taking so long, but her gem looked fine.  
  
Lapis gasped at the sight of the bright green glow that suddenly alleviated her agony, and only moments later a very confused Peridot had materialized in her arms.   
  
"Are you alright?"  
  
Lazuli asked, her eyes starting to look like they were blue again. The abyss had come and gone, and somehow she was fine and holding her tightly in her arms again.  
  
"I found you."  
  
Peridot exclaimed in the softest of whispers in response to the blue girl's question.  
  
"You did."  
  
Lapis confirmed, but couldn't help but laugh a little at how bewildered and adorable the green girl looked sitting in her lap. Peridot was blushing and smiling up at her in relief that her untested plan had worked.  
  
"Why would you do this? After all I put you through?"  
  
Lapis asked, holding the small girl a little tighter, as if afraid of her own question.  
  
"I couldn't accept how things ended. I didn't want you to think that I didn't want you. Things were just so sudden. You don't deserve to lock yourself away over a few, albeit brash, miscalculations in strength. You're incredible Lapis, I know you're more powerful than your own despair."  
  
"Peridot..."  
  
Lapis had no idea that Peridot thought her strength could translate in to anything but destruction after all she'd witnessed. She had been a broken gem for so long, she didn't know how to tell what other parts were crucial to her being anymore, except for the parts that easily consumed her.  
  
The shorter girl reached up, stroking Lapis' cheeks gently with her fingertips before sliding her hands behind the blue girl's neck and pulling her down in to a kiss. Peridot's lips pressed up so gently against her own that Lapis felt like her arms would give out holding her up, but he gem in her lap simply sat upright in response to continue the kiss.  
  
Lazuli coudln't understand why Peridot would return her affections so delicately, even after she had pinned her down so viciously not a negligible amount of hours ago. Lapis hadn't cared then if her own body was able to crush the other girl's, wishing they could be closer, to the point of demanding that she fuse with her.  
  
What if she had forced her, and their fusion turned out to be unstable? She could of caused more destruction on Earth, after being granted a home by none other than the humanoid-gem who had freed her from her desolate prison in the first place. She could never betray Steven or Peridot like that again, she simply couldn't be trusted.  
  
The blue girl had been terrified of that pain, and even more terrified at the thought of Peridot's fate. Should her greed have caused them to be shattered by the crystal gems after an uncontrollable rampage. She couldn't help but remember so vividly the destruction she had caused as Malachite and all the watermelon warriors she'd slain.     
  
She couldn't understand why the green gem had gone to such lengths just to kiss her again. She lost track of her thoughts and closed her eyes, letting Peridot try things her own way instead. She learned, over the lapse of several thousand ft, that there was much more to kissing than either of them had thought from watching those pining Canadians.  
  
Peridot had her arms wrapped around Lazuli's neck and resting on her shoulders, kneeling above the taller girl in the pilot seat. She was able to look down in to the blue girl's eyes this way and she liked it. Peridot had taken a moment to turn the lights outside the pod back on to show Lazuli the sea life around them as they rose.   
  
Lazuli ran her thin hands through the blond's hair looking out at the gorgeous view ahead while the green gem decided to show her how delicately she could kiss every inch of her in turn. The shorter girl had made it a point to show Lapis that her lips were welcome back down her own neckline anytime she would like.  
  
"I didn't know what to do when you left. I couldn't think of anything but finding you again."  
  
Peridot finally said, after running out of perfect blue skin to caress.   
  
"I missed you too."  
  
The two gems resumed kissing, smiling and exchanging looks when exceptional creatures floated by them. Lapis had wanted her passionate advances to be accepted as soon as they had been exposed. She had never been one for moderation, but after tasting her own exile again, she understood that she had all the time in the world with Peridot.  
  
Lapis hadn't known how to handle herself at first, but she needed to do better. She had the courage to do right by her. She let Peridot explore her own body as she had hers and felt at ease with the desire she knew would only continue to grow between them.  
  
She slid her hands up the girl's thighs slowly, tentatively trying to match the shorter girl's touch. She moved her hands to her hips and traced her waist delicately before sliding her hands back down to rest on her ass, squeezing gently to pull her closer in to their kiss.  
  
She never would of imagined that touching another form so gently could feel just as passionate as her previous advances, if not more. She liked things Peridot's way, and she loved how the green gem felt so weightless above her as they kissed.  
  
The blue gem only opened her eyes again when she felt that sunlight slowly started to shine brighter than the pod's beams through the glass behind Peridot's form and Lapis spoke up as the green girl was trying to turn her around to kiss down her back.  
  
"We're almost at the surface."  
  
"HMMmm?"  
  
The green gem looked back over her shoulder at the sunlight as they surfaced faster and faster while the sound of the propellers could he heard accelerating once they reached standard depth. Peridot turned back around, unceremoniously halting their heated exchanges. Sitting between the taller girl's legs she leaned back against her comfortably and steered the pod back to land.  
  
"Y'yknow, I don't even know If I can fuse in the first place."  
  
Peridot admitted nervously. She was still flustered from all their making out as watched the clouds that were steadily dwindling. She hadn't been sure how to say it, but she was relieve she'd done it. Thankfully the waves had also subsided enough for her to simply glide the pod back to shore.   
  
"I'm sorry. Peridot. I would never make you. I was out of hand. That's why I left.. I should never of asked you that way."  
  
"I was really shocked at the time. But I'm not angry at you, really, it-it's okay. I, uh, I've actually been thinking about it for a while now."  
  
Lapis was thankful that the gem siting in front of her couldn't see her dark blush form as she hugged her from behind. She simply listened to her elaborate.  
  
"I was just never used on a mission where Peridots would be needed as a fusion. And of course, I'd never even thought of fusion with another type of gem until I met Garnet, and even then it's not the same."  
  
"I hadn't either. Not until Jasper anyways."  
  
Lapis admitted, albeit now struggling to keep the thoughts of how Jasper had handled her at bay. Before she had betrayed and shackled the other woman, it had made her feel so horrible to let her form be used by someone she hated. She was so relieved that it wasn't how Peridot had felt after her sudden advances.  
  
"I've only sort of tried once before, Garnet said she'd show me when I was ready."  
  
Lazuli stiffened at the additional information that seized her attention, threatening to bring on another typhoon in response. Thankfully, she was too exhausted to do so. Garnet, had asked her Peridot, to fuse with them? When?  
  
"But, you didn't, right?"  
  
Lazuli asked, and Peridot felt the other girl's apprehension. She had a smug smile painted across her little green face. If Lazuli wanted her all to herself, that was fine by her. She just had to control her urge to burst out in to hysterical screeches of joy in reponse.   
  
"No. I almost fell flat on my face after the first step and then totally chickened out."  
  
Peridot admitted, laughing at her own memory of herself literally being spun off balance by the tall woman and being too shaken to continue. Of course she wouldn't admit that at first she had jumped at the chance of fusing with the powerful gems like a desperate young camper would have for Percy or Pierre.  
  
She didn't regret not going through with it now. There was no way she could of built a connection with the perma-fusion like the intricate one she had formed over time with Lapis, and there was no way she wanted to be apart from her to even try at this point.  
  
"You really tried fusing with Garnet?"  
  
Lapis couldn't get the imagine out of her mind, but questioned Peridot further going back to her first point.  
  
"You don't think you can fuse at all?"  
  
"I'm an era2 gem. And I told you before, but besides my metal powers, I can't do anything special."  
  
"I don't care what era you're from. It's okay Peridot, we never have to if you can't, or just aren't ready to."  
  
"Even if I don't know yet, if it's with you Lapis, I don't mind figuring it out. We just need to go about it, slower."  
  
"Okay."  
  
Lapis answered and kissed the back of her head. She felt she needed to stop questioning herself so much, or maybe it was just because she was so exhausted from unknowingly liquidating her power's through the ocean's mass, but Peridot seemed a taller to her since reforming.  
  
"Um, okay. And, uh. By the way, the crystal gems might be a little pissed if their house got destroyed by your storm, but don't worry. I can always build them a better one."  
  
Peridot quickly explained before they reached shore, using a different setting on the propellers to hover the pod safely up on to the sand and docking. She scanned the horizon to see if the beach house was still in one piece.  
  
"I see."  
  
Lapis answered as the glass sphere opened up around them. She hadn't realized that her anger and despair had actually manifested itself within the currents, but it sure explained why she was so drained. She looked around at the battered beach and at Steven's house in the distance. It was definitely now missing at least a portion of it's porch, but otherwise appeared intact.  
  
"LAPIS!!!!! PERI!!!!!"  
  
They heard Steven shout in the distance as they hopped out of the pod on to the beach.   
  
"You made it back safely!!"  
  
He ran to them and hugged them both, screeching with joy. He was so happy they had resurfaced before the sun had even set. The other crystal gems approached with mixed emotions, despite their reassuring smiles at the sight of the blue and green gems successful return.  
  
Lapis placed one of her arms around Peridot's shoulders when Steven let go of them. She gave Garnet a look she knew the other woman wouldn't forget for many millennia, before addressing them all, her voice apathetic from exhaustion.  
  
"Sorry about the mess."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -fin-
> 
> thank you for reading!!


	6. Merci!

I wrote this in a week last year after the video chat short aired.

I decided to give it another edit because wow there were still a lot of mistakes, but mostly because I wanted to fluff it up a little.

Raising the barn could still happen after this, but she'll return, and maybe, just maybe we'll get a lapidot fusion.

Thanks for reading!!


End file.
